My mother thinks I have a foot fetish. I don't. At least I wouldn't call it a fetish. But I do notice what people (especially women) are wearing on their feet. Some things are acceptable, and some things are not. Flip flops float to the top of the "not" category. Unfortunately, Old Navy is determined to keep me a single man for the rest of my life.

When I see that commercial, the thing that I notice is that the only person in it who is actually wearing the flip flops as footwear is that one, shirtless guy. Who is taking fashion tips from a guy who can't even pick out a shirt? Meanwhile, the chorus girls, who sing "'cause toes so pretty," aren't wearing anything on their feet at all. Their dresses clearly say that they would rather be trampled to death than walk around in those flip flops. And rightly so.

To be absolutely clear, I am not encouraging anyone to rush to Old Navy tomorrow to buy $1 flip flops. I cannot endorse that sort of grossly irresponsible behavior.

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